MORE, MORE OF THEE

I was cleaning Daddy's study bookshelf in 2024 when inserted among the books was a compilation of my e-mailed "thoughts" from 2021-2023, stapled together into booklet form and given the title of one of its poems. Needless to say, I was thrilled.

Here's a thought-poem e-mailed in 2005,  penned in 2002 and two posts below that, from other poems composed in 2002.

In months gone by I was afraid that when I sought Him,

It was the spontaneous, bubbling joy in knowing Him,

the drowning in awareness of His love,

the irrepressible life--boldness-

-motivation in daily contact with others

that I yearned for, not God Himself.

I prayed--Lord, all this I seek, as Thou well knowest.

But use these yearnings Lord, to draw me to love of Thyself.

Lord, I remember the pleasure I have when "Thou art mine;"

help me to remember where that pleasure came from

that I might feast upon Thee once more.

"Don't you see?" God seemed to answer me,

"I sent that pleasure to remind you of

Who I am. All that happiness is something I want you to have--

Because I love you."

It may be wrong to desire a lover's flowers, gifts of chocolate,

and forget the lover;

But isn't it equally foolish to deny delight in Him

because of a realization of--and dismay at--delight

in the expressions of His love?

God gives because He is love, and His utter pleasure is

our joy in receiving;

All I need say is, Thank you so much, God; I love you,

and He is happy!

My omnipotent God is happy!

And my prayer, More! More of Thee! Give me, show me more of Thee! is equally His delight and desire!

"God doesn't want us reading the Word for the goosebumps it gives," but He doesn't prohibit or criticize our enjoyment of them when they come!

Quick

So quick to say "I'm weak" and "can't"
instead of "I'm disobedient" and "won't".

So quick to defend myself: "I'm actually better than that."
instead of "I'm so glad my heart didn't show; you'd be shocked if you knew the awful truth about me."

So quick to apprise myself and stay in spiritual smugness
instead of meditating on God and wanting to serve Him.

But there's one thing I'm slow in:
admitting "I was wrong all this time."

Break this heart, oh God, break this sin-quick heart;
And give me a new one--
one that would be quick to bow the head
and run to Thee.

Drawing Nigh

When "spending time w/God" this morning,
It seemed I "spent time" looking in the mirror
And admiring the "spiritual" Christian I saw.
"What a worshipful attitude!
What spiritual thirst!
What unquestionable humility!
Now God'll HAVE to show Himself to me.
After all, doesn't it say in God's Word,
'Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to Thee'?"

And then it dawned on me:
God was probably sickened at the sight of the saint at the mirror;
And He was saying, "Hurry up and
Really look at Me;
"Spend time" with Me...
That I could show Myself to you."

God never said, "Draw nigh to thy mirror."