WRITING...AND POSSIBLY RE-WRITING?

Are there any readers who were around when I mentioned having the Lord's Supper after worship was already over, and a handful of brothers and sisters stayed to do it with me when I'd been late for it? Michael Bess, a brother in Christ, the head elder at his church in Oregon, led that group; and God used him again this past Sunday to encourage me.

I'd written and put up so much online in Japanese, but the rough translation of C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, I'd been rather hesitant about. I saw a professional translator had actually worked on it recently. When I graduated from language school 40 years ago, no one had touched it, and there was no translation app around either, but now...

When I saw this had come out, it rather scared me. Would I get in Copyright trouble if someone spotted my things online? I hurriedly yanked all of my things down, put them in "draft" mode. Whew. No one could get after me for copyright infringement.

But Sun, Michael commented as long as I wasn't selling the work and gave full credit of its authorship being C.S. Lewis as well as adding its actual sale being made elsewhere, he didn't see how I could face any copyright problems.

So...I've decided to put it back up. https://shingen16-25.blogspot.com/

You'll have to keep in mind this is just the attempt of a brand-new missionary who desperately wants a best friend to read an English book which has not yet been translated into Japanese.

1989. I will skip over what happened during that time. There are some unpleasant experiences I don't want to go into or to live over.

I will say, however, I remember writing, writing, and writing and then realizing it was all in English, in a language my friend would not be able to read, so then re-writing it in Japanese. The other day, she s-mailed me and said she'd been cleaning up and found an old book I'd written for her. I'd forgotten about it.

Among the 100+ things I thought I wrote in Japanese the past few years...I wonder how  many were actually written before, in some way? But God was watching the whole time, wasn't He?

WINE, OIL, AND BREAD

"measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny, and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine." (Rev. 6:6)

I knew the superficiality man offered was far different from the promise God gave. THERE! Ps. 104:15 had the words I was looking for: "oil to make his face to shine". The result of being captured by God is a glowing countenance, not provocative sensuality characteristic of this world.

Actually, the Holy Spirit seemed to nudge me to look at the beginning of the verse. The Creator of human beings got the order right. He made sure core needs were taken care of first. " And wine that maketh glad the heart of man".

When the new man is drunk with the Spirit his heart is made glad; it follows then, joy leaks out through the eyes, making his face shine.  And I noticed the verse ended with; "and bread which strengtheneth man's heart."

Wheat bread? Barley bread? God hasn't forgotten man has physical needs, and this verse says God will send ample strength for them too, but it seems given less priority than the creature's wine-and-oil needs. How God will bring together every detail in our lives to meet our needs is His responsibility; but He will. Our responsibility is to follow Him step by step;

This blog business, I don't see the whole picture either, am just putting up a post at a time, plan to keep going until God tells me to turn. Please pray I just be obedient in the smallest ways, to obey until I can't or God tells me otherwise to stop/turn.

LIFEBREATH

Just a heartbeat away. Most humans don't realize, unless the medical physician gives the diagnosis that they're dying and may have a limited amount of time left, that they need to live as if each day is their last.

We've been praying for my sister Janice's daughter-in-law Shannon especially this week. I mentioned her in an earlier post, but her chemotherapy treatments began Tues., and response has not been very good requiring acupuncture for the pain. Would you join us in prayer? Thank you ever so much.

This morning, I realized I must've caught my finger on a nail or splinter somewhere, because one of my knuckles was skinned and turning red, and I could see a tiny piece of loose skin just above the area. When I was younger, I would've mostly ignored it, but I removed the dead tissue and washed the affected area with water and soap just to be safe. You never know.

Yesterday, I was made to think about 9-11 25 years ago, how fragile man's securities are. He thinks matters are bound up in binding contracts, sure negotiations, and fixed networking...but the symbols of the world trade powers came crumbling down in smoke and ashes, literally, in an hour of terror.

Yesterday afternoon, I was talking with a sister in Christ about how awesome it is that we are the children of God. Whether limited by elements of health, accident or even human hostility, God gives us all the breath we need, (even at those times I cannot understand why He does not give me more!) He is our Father.

STILL ON REVELATION 6:5

 This is part of my journal entry for today.

Rev. 6:5 Again? Hopefully, a great many will see in me a mirror of a child of God who desperately wants to follow Him but finds it tough going, constantly falling down and having to get up, dust himself off, and look around to see a sign post saying he has to start at the same place, AGAIN.

Um, may I share personal stuff about my memory work? Not everyone will be able to use it, I know, if you don't share my temperament. This is just what happened to me so would be applicable for others who aren't memorization naturals but are writers like myself.

1. Whenever God gave me strong truth from the Bible, I wrote it down as well as everything about what it meant, why it was important. 2. Then when sharing about it with a friend, I made sure to open the Bible to that portion and wrote it out again. 3. When journaling about that day and mentioning the talk, I turned to that scripture passage to write out the verse word for word. 4. Later on when recalling that fellowship, I wrote down the scripture again, usually realizing by this time I knew where in the Bible it was and needed to refer to it less to write it down accurately. 5. Frequently, I ended up unconsciously learning related surrounding verses/passages of the verse I ended up memorizing (no; I hadn't actually set out intending to do so!).

People who memorize chapters at a time and are known for their intellectual abilities make what I do look like a snail's trail. But over the years, I think this has ended up sticking with me because these verses are the truths God gave ME, even if they seemed to be "just a few a year."

But for some reason, that kinda snowballed. I don't know how it actually happened. Maybe in Heaven, He'll explain it to me, because it's not supposed to have happened; somewhere in there, I wanted to do some "patchworking together" of passages that were special to me and ended up with larger "quilts" of chapters and books.

THE GERASENE

I guess not everybody gets to follow Jesus like the disciples, the healed demoniac must've thought; but he'd been told to go back home and "show how great things God had done for him." So...he got to work right away, publishing throughout the city so much so when Jesus came back, the people gladly received him; for they were waiting for him."  (Luke 8:37-40).

It was reading about that incident today that hit me between the eyes. I don't know why some of us dense humans need truths related to us many times before we finally get it. I think God was telling me: "June, you want to tell others about me, and you want to do it in church...but maybe I want you to witness, like that demoniac, to publish to family and friends in Decapolis.  When they meet the Gospel again, maybe they too will have hearts prepared: eager and receptive for Me. Go to it."

Obedience is the key word. When Jesus instructs, "Tell no man, "MUM is the way to go. Some intelligence work requires absolute hush-hush. But when the Master says, "Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so!" (Ps. 107:2) why, like the demoniac at the Gerasenes, we can let out all the stops! Pictured is one of the pigs that went charging down the hill when Jesus freed the man of his Legion of demons. Because he'd stayed a layperson and told those around him about God's tender love and his new life, the people were all ears by the time the Lord returned! Better spiritual-personal PR work than any disciple could've done, don't you think?

Few even know about that healed demoniac. He probably wasn't a certified preacher with ordination. But I wonder, wouldn't God have welcomed him to Heaven with, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant"?

I THOUGHT I WAS IMPARTIAL

And I thought I was impartial. When today's message was from James, about treating the rich man with deference while telling the poor man to go sit under his footstool; why, I told myself smugly I never do anything like that!

But the pastor said that's what he told himself. Then he said that's what many pastors unconsciously do when they welcome visiting speakers up on seats on the platform, making sure they have a bulletin and a glass of water, asking if they had a good night's rest the day before, etc. But if a church member happens to bring a friend and wants to make introductions, the pastor usually gives little more thought than a practiced welcome, deciding someone can show visitors to their seats. "I hadn't meant to be partial," he said, "but was very partial, wasn't I"?

I had this uncomfortable itch. "Junie, even in the very things you think you're doing for God, is it possible you're doing it with partiality?"

I could picture myself trying to write all sorts of truths glorifying God, and the Holy Spirit was leaning back with His arms crossed, nodding approvingly, a gentle and knowing smile crossing His lips. Yet then, His Head cocked ever so slightly and seemed to beckon me follow His gaze to the far end of the room. There, my husband Kinya prepared a meal for me, and my son Keima sat at his computer station, perhaps both needing my attention. 

I'd preferred to treat my writing with deference, while I put them under my footstool?

Oh God, I'm so sorry. Thank you for showing me. Now please show me what to do.

IT LOOKED GOOD AND NEW THEN

 "and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand" (Rev. 6:5)

It doesn't take difficult scholarly acrobatics to realize riders are easily thrown from their saddles; the "most balanced" human rider then, can be easily thrown, can't he? 

My sister e-mailed me a delightful photo this morning. It was the first A&W in Okinawa in 1963. Drive-in's were new then, so eating here was as big a deal as going to the restaurant. Cars parked at stations, and complimentary mini "baby burgers" and "baby root beer" came on the tray hooked onto the car window.  Our order of regular hamburgers, root beers, fries was delivered to that tray where, of course, we stayed and ate. Daddy, Mommy, Joyce, and I ordered regular sizes, while Janice insisted she was happy with the baby meal!

What looked like "a modern way" then seems rather inefficient and clumsy now. It went from "drive-in" to "drive-thru"; ordering by intercom to doing it by tablet. Yes, the rider has fallen off his high horse a few times.

No one expects anything "new and improved" to stay "new" forever but one day will become old, even archaic, like the drive-in. Isn't it only Jesus Christ Who can claim He will be "the same yesterday, and today, and forever" (Heb. 13:8)?

"To whom shall we go?" Peter once responded when asked if he was disappointed in Jesus and would turn away from Him after all; "Thou hast the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)

When it seems He has let us down--and there are many times in life it will look like that--we must remember He is the only one, actually, that will NOT. It is just before those words of "yesterday, today, and forever", we find the promise:

"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Heb. 13:5)

WHAT HE WAS INTERESTED IN

Oh-oh. I realized in order for this post to make sense, I'm going to have to write at least a little summary of last night's old film:

It's about a boy who gets a wild pony and foal on an island, (saving the life of the almost drowning foal as it crossed the channel). After taming--not breaking, but a gentler way--the filly, he is challenged with the champion black steed, which he beats clearly. The day before a horse race, the boy, unable to bear seeing the mare's unhappiness whenever she hears her mate's call from across the channel, returns them to their island.

"And I beheld and lo, a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand." (Rev. 6:5)

In the human world, "black horses" symbolize advantages, ways to get ahead. But Father, it's like You're not interested in "getting ahead," are you? In yesterday's video, the owner of the pony, the day before the big race, saw his own could beat that fast black stallion all hollow. He heard the call of the mate across the channel day after day and let his horse go free, seeing how it wanted to go back. THAT OWNER COULD'VE HELD ONTO THE HORSE AND WON ALL HIS BETS THE NEXT DAY IF HE WAS INTERESTED IN WINNING, BUT HE WAS WAY MORE INTERESTED IN THE PONY'S HAPPINESS.

Some people say foolish things like a self-serving God just wants humans to praise Him. If God were really interested in just that, He wouldn't have chosen to have His Son born into obscurity into the town of Bethlehem to an unwed mother where shepherds would come to worship Him, not even relatives. (But wise men did come from afar!) And God wouldn't have chosen to have that Son grow up in Nazareth where "nothing good comes from" in a carpenter father's shop, subject to neighborhood gossip of being a bastard. Nor would God have allowed the religious leaders of the day to ban him from the synagogue nor forbid people to follow him. At the very least, a God Who craved praise would not have allowed His Son to be betrayed by one of his own disciples, denied by another, forsaken by the rest, shamed and tortured in public, framed and condemned legally, sentenced to a slow death of suffocation-drip bleeding and thirst.

No; God was NOT Interested in "GLORY" for Himself in the way some people accuse Him of. The glory ascribed Him results in those He LOVED and GAVE HIS LIFEBLOOD FOR. They love Him.

In the film, I noticed at the end, the pony's little foal whose life the boy saved from drowning as it came across the river ended up staying with him. The worship, adoration we end up giving God because He saved our lives is something we choose to do and should not be denied with the claim that it is something a "greedy God desires!" It would be just as senseless as refusing to let that foal stay with the master he has grown to love.

The balances the rider on the black horse of Rev. 6:5 seems to be kinda whacko. "God is Love", will lead to salvation, joy, and peace. But man's common sense, when it starts out with "God desires Praise" cannot lead to "gentle"-ing a horse. The film showed you can forcefully break a wild stallion into submission, OR you can slowly ease it into wanting it to trust you, and then you have a friend for life. Conflicts can be tamed temporarily by breaking them into submission, it is true. But it's only regeneration of the soul that will motivate acts of permanent loyalty.

God does not break us then just call us His good submissive servants. He dove into the water for us when we were drowning and called us friends.

How can we not love Him forever?

HUSBANDS (FATHERS) AND WAX

This morning, my mind ran in two separate directions, and I wasn't sure which to take...so here's both of them:

When I was younger, I was pretty critical of my own father. But after I got my own husband, Daddy looked like a saint! (Of course, he'd been walking with God for MUCH, much longer! And you KNOW I'm not talking about the doctrine of sainthood of believers, right?) It made me smile too when I thought of how my daughter used to get impatient with Kinya, but after some frictions with her own husband, she looked more favorably on him than she used to.

Well, if my daughter is going to see her father as a hero, maybe I should tell him (she definitely won't)? I'm praying about the best way to do this.

~   *   ~   *   ~

There; that's the one thing that I was thinking about this morning in bed. The other thing was what happened yesterday. I'd been struggling writing in a journal, and I gave up and switched to a different one. It's a pretty one, but the pages have some kind of treatment that resists ink. Maybe when it was new, that wasn't a problem, but since it's been sitting around for several years, in some places, the waxy coating has gotten nonporous.

"Without Wax." a Bible Teacher once explained that was the old expression for Sin Cere. Nowadays, when people think "without hypocrisy" or "genuine", they use the word, "sincere", without realizing where it originated. It was explained thusly:

Cracks in fired pottery were filled in with wax; sanded down; painted over; and the only way you could detect any flaw was to hold it up to the light. The earthenware showed translucent only where there was wax; any item without wax, or sin cere, was declared GENUINELY FLAWLESS.

I wasn't dealing with pottery; but I wanted pages of a journal that didn't have wax on it. And I guess this can be tied into the first part of this article: everyone wishes for a spiritual, mature spouse; but the best part is that Kinya is a sin cere one, I think. He doesn't know how to put on airs.

TIME TO STORM THE CASTLE!

 This post is going to be such a jumbled mess.

"How long wilt thou sleep, thou sluggard? And when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?" (Prov. 6:9) I seemed to hear in bed one morning...or was it afternoon already? I'd worked 'til late last night, so..."This is not your rest; it will DESTROY you!" (Mic. 2:10) The voice continued. "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep, so shall thy poverty come as one that traveleth, and thy want as an armed man."(Prov. 6:10-11) Come on, came the gentle urging. Up and at 'em.

After all, it really WAS what I really wanted to do.  I don't know how many times I've found myself crying, praying along with the hymn, "Take my life, and let it be consecrated Lord, to thee."

I always felt like I wanted to serve the Lord as a full-time foreign missionary in church-planting work and wondered when God would give me a church ministry to step into. He had sent me to receive full training in the U.S., hadn't He? During my years there, I'd refused to look at anything that could even possibly deter me from that path.

42 years ago, I graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in the school of religion; 41 years ago, I studied for and passed the doctrinal questionnaire to become a missionary; about 37 years ago finished training at the Missionary Linguistic Institute in Ochanomizu. "Take My Life"...had seemed to take full color then.

When I finally returned to the field, God led me into a marriage union with a national, practically guaranteeing I'd bury my bones here on the mission field. But instead of being a more real way to "do missions" and reach souls with the life Gospel of Christ - "your people shall be my people," Ruth had said, and it has been identifying with the people of the land (even being willing to die there) that has won many to the Cross -ironically, it felt like the marriage distanced me from human organizations of church and missions.

The other day, while listening to a message about the walls of Jericho:

"Junie, those Israelite warriors were ready to give their lives but ended up marching around Jericho a whole day then were told to go back home and do it again the next day...and kept obeying until given the divine signal to GO. You will keep obeying too, right, even in your 60's?" Right, I decided; and e-mailed my sister about it. Less than a week later, it was as if a ton of bricks fell on me:

"Junie, what are you waiting for? All those things you have for readers online--get them posted! GO!" It was as if the walls were finally crumbling. 

" 'Ministry' doesn't have to be traditional church work," God seemed to say. "I can do it any way I want!" 

"Even through online readership?"

"Even through online readership." Need I say more?

So...there are many, many things being posted that have been collected and categorized. After seeing over 100 things written in Japanese, I stopped counting. They're being put on different blogs and if I were younger, it'd be on one big website. I studied HTML back then and actually designed my own site but don't even know where it is now, have forgotten everything I studied. Rats. So I'm just stringing together a bunch of blogs, one for Fiction, one for Family History, several individual Novelettes, actual Ongoing Blogs (like this one), Devotionals, ...you get the idea.

Ever Notice? WHEN WALLS FALL FLAT, THEY LOOK LIKE SMOOTH, WIDELY-PAVED HIGHWAYS! Anyway...much to do.

FLYING TURTLES

You know what I was realizing a while ago?  I'm having a terrible time in dividing up my blog stuff into categories of "family history", "missionary ministry", "spiritual stuff - Bible, devotionals", etc...; because everything overlaps so much!  But I thought about it and realized after a few seconds, that's the way it's supposed to be. Don't we teach life is NOT supposed to be divided into the secular and sacred?

Isn't that why some things that start out as silly fictions end up tripping over spiritual truths along the way? At the very least, the reader's heart wants the villain to be an ogre with an evil temperament, unlike himself...

But wait. Actually, EVERY reader does have a sin problem, doesn't he? And it should be when we are made to come face to face with that awful truth yet then know that God in Christ embraces us fully when we repent...it is when we get there, NOTHING can bring us down from the heights to which our souls would soar.

Yup, even them liddle turtles ken flaaaeei! (What, you haven't heard of mixed metaphors and such?)

WE HEARD

 I heard Norimi Jackson, receiving hospice care until recently, died this morning.

"What a reunion she must be having with Daddy!" my sister Janice e-mailed when she heard.

Norimi's earthly father's baptism Sun, provided a church burial place for the body. I hear when Norimi heard of the baptism, she couldn't respond with words, but tears came out of her eyes, she was so happy.

Would you pray for Sammy Jackson, all the siblings for that matter, as they ponder their mother's Homegoing; as well as for Mr. and Mrs. Arakaki (the former Miss Nakandakari), that God would send special messages of His love and leading grace for them? Thank you.

What would be His reason for changing my name?

Yesterday I mentioned my love for animals. Some people would say what I do is silly, extreme, even want to question my mental balance. Yesterday, I told of how I formed friendships with the park turtles, carp, crows in the Iwatsuki Park. (The turtle pictured was photographed a few months ago on the river in front of the house.)

I remember first calling a carp "Double" because I could never tell the difference between him and carp Jesse Fin at first. NOW I can't see how in the world I could ever make a mistake! I suppose that's how mothers are with twins too. Later, I decided to call that carp "Bubble" because...well, I have no trouble identifying it now, and it is in the frothy water, after all!

There was a crow I labeled "Stealth" at first because of its ability to silently, undetected, swoop into areas in the high shade of trees other crows wouldn't get away with near where the great blue herons perched. He'd get situated, and call to them. But later, when it seemed his personality changed--really--and he seemed to be working for friendlier relations between heron and crow, I pretended he asked to have his name changed from "Stealth" to "Health".

I think there was a man in the Bible called Saul who was later called Paul. Hmm. If God were to change my name, what would be His reason for wanting to do so?

The name of my favorite turtle in the park? "Quasimodo the Injured Turtle at Iwatsuki  Park with Shoe-shaped Shell" was much too long. I liked "Quasi" instead, so that name stuck.

SONGS AT KAZUE'S

"Lord, please make it cool!" Joyce and I walked up the hill to our cousin Kazue's house. It was only 2-3 mins.' walk away, I knew, but past experience had taught me that in summer heat, even that short amount of time was enough to get the body temperature to start on an upward climb that would not stop, and land me in bed, ever so sorry with high fever....

But not only had the weather "opened up" for a conducive visit; the schedule "opened up" to make it possible for all of us to get together at the same time; and it seemed God "opened up" even the subject matter: Kazue's love for music seemed to mirror Joyce's God-given gifts, and my love for animals seemed to echo Kazue's!

The biggest reason we went to Kazue's was to show her a Thank-you video sent by my sister Janice. She wanted her to see her little granddaughter Theia singing a Japanese children's song; Kazue had sent helps to learning those songs! After showing that video, we relayed the news the little girl's mother had been diagnosed with cancer but has been testifying of the peace that God gives despite everything.

I wonder if Kazue remembers how Mommy sang the same chorus of peace when her cancer diagnosis came?

YOU'RE STILL THERE?

"And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see." (Rev. 6:5)

I know. Some will think, HOW MANY TIMES will you have to write the same words, June? And when it comes to unregenerate readers giving what is that--how they deem one is "good" and one is "bad" --I've heard the comment: if they repeat what they've already said before, it's nothing new; I want to learn something new with every post; don't waste my time!"

Then don't read my blogs, I guess. And don't read scripture, which values line upon line, precept upon precept. In fact, anyone who really thinks and observes realizes that things of value merit repetition, and actually the very word "REINFORCEMENT" carries with it the concept of repetition.

Any language is learned by repetition of sounds and practice of combinations of grammar, expression, reasoning. Logic, for that matter, declares situation as fact if proven constant through repetition. Choices in life...are they not made by comparison, an actual variation of this thing called "repetition": repeated appearances, repeated financial status, repeated health-strength-medical conditions, repeated material assets, repeated natural resources?

Great castles may be built on repetitions of one brick placed on top of another; expansive halls covered with floors of tiles lined side by side; the Kingdom of Rome was held together by much-trodden-on slabs of rock!

Appraisal. That's the word I was looking for a while ago. But scripture says, "Who is he that judges?" It is the LORD. We need to remember God in the Heavens looks down to hear man's words and renders judgment on them. As far as "repetition" is concerned well, it's like the way Paul Harvey looks down at some 2-yr-olds who "render judgment" and think they're so smart, but they look so cute to him, and he can't stand it.

Canon and finger exercises are necessary for the concert pianist. Practicing line control and doing gesture drawings are musts for the painter and visual artist. Not interested in repetition? Sorry; it's the building block for living.

(A later blog will tell why I've had to keep coming back to Rev. 6:5 mentioned at the beginning of this post.)

NAKANDAKARIS, NORIMI, TWO SPECIAL SUNDAYS

I wonder if Daddy would've been allowed to peer over the battlements of Heaven to see 8/24's baptism?

Because of some sensationalism and dramatization on TV, a lot of people have gotten  desensitized to the exceptional even when it happens in real life. What happened here...what's the big deal, they might say. But when you think about it, it's incredible.

That's probably why I've found myself talking about it several times. It's NOT just a fun fairy tale to relate. Over 60 years ago, young ladies by the last name of Nakandakari left the Uken village where there was no church to fellowship for the young people. They came to a tiny church started in a former public bathhouse in Shuri, about an hour south.

Started by missionaries Roy and Kimiko Oshiro, the ones who had come to their village with the Gospel in answer to the earnest prayer of a converted leper. In continued answer to that prayer, several years later, God used the U.S. military to donate a quonset hut so the believers there would have a church (sketched from memory above) there a few years later as well.

The Nakandakari sisters got married and ended up leading their children to salvation. When her oldest daughter Norimi came to visit Daddy in the hospital, she was a mother herself and had led her sons to Christ. Of course Daddy had no idea who she was, but she considered him the family's "lifesaver" since it was missionary Oshiro who was instrumental in getting spiritual life to her mother, who taught about it to her, who then relayed it to her sons.

I still remember when Daddy was sick and weak, He just wanted to go to Heaven. But God seemed to have a little more work for him to do, because He kept him around for just a little longer.

After Norimi's visit to the hospital, Daddy went to a nursing home, and Norimi came to visit again, this time with the mother who'd been saved about 60 years ago as well as her father. At that time, the father was not a Christian.

The next time I heard about this family, Norimi's recurring cancer gave cause for concern, but her father found Christ, giving us cause to rejoice! Also, one of Norimi's sons, Sammy, who'd been in his teens when she visited Daddy in the hospital, finished his training in the U.S.  and came to preach for us at  Gushikawa Baptist Church last month.

Then to top it all off, it seemed we were losing Norimi's father to senility, but recently, he pulled back mentally. So Norimi's parents were baptized Sunday, Aug. 24!

...which means Norimi's mom waited and prayed over half a century after she found salvation for her husband to become a Christian too before she could get baptized?!

THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE DIED "NEEDING"!

This just came to me...

I know how the saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed" got started, but I wonder how many people really understand where that can end up? The person who "meets that need" really believes that other person was needier and thinks he was the benefactor on top providing that need so is the one to be thanked, feels absolutely no gratitude towards the person he helped!

Perhaps the end goal was that of encouraging the helper, of bettering his self-esteem, nothing more. SO IT IS ONLY IF GOD CHOOSES TO REMOVE A VEIL OF WISDOM FROM THE EYES OF HIS MIND (by various means) HE WILL RECOGNIZE THE FAVOR OF GRACE SHOWN HIM; otherwise, He may proceed the rest of his life unaware of this fact, simply thinking himself to be the benefactor.

When Joseph of Arimathea asked for Jesus' body off the Tree, I wonder if the VEIL OF WISDOM was removed then to see that he had been permitted to handle the clay vessel of the Son of God used for the Redemption of Mankind...including himself? Would it have occurred to him what an awesome thing it was for a human being to interact with God like that at the foot of the Cross?!

- or - 

As the natural mind would have it, would onlookers say, this was a "good man," the benefactor who stooped to extend an act of kindness to an executed criminal, discarded and forgotten, whom no one else cared to touch, who deserved no care, who was alone and unable to fend for himself? ALL actually as untrue as the billionaire who retired his disguise as a beggar in a slum alley and returned to his estate, accounts, limousines, and bodyguards. The kind custodian friend came by and found the old rags and buried them for him.

P.S.:(A big difference between the above allegory and the reality is that Jesus REALLY DID DIE. It wasn't just his clothes that were tattered and buried. He was dead for 3 days. But then He came back to life again. HE DIDN'T NEED ANYBODY'S HELP FOR THIS!)

HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

 I had to write this while it was still fresh.

Today is our wedding anniversary. As I was doing this morning, some might wonder, "Does my spouse REALLY love me? I've thought of EVERYTHING, and..."

God seemed to interrupt me. "No you haven't."

What?

"You've thought about your husband's past, his needs, his self-esteem, his spiritual condition, your own spiritual call, your responsibility as wife-mother-Christian, your various spiritual responsibilities...but you haven't thought about ME."

What? What was God talking about? Would I listen while He talked, I seemed to hear. Then:

Had God become so stupid now He couldn't get one man just right for one woman and bring them together? I mean, He did it when He brought animals to an ark before a worldwide flood in Gen. 7, didn't He? Didn't we believe God could do that anymore?

"You say you've thought of everything, but you really haven't, June. The next time even a feel a tinge of negativism about your condition, can't you just say, 'Gen. 7'?

Noah didn't understand/approve everything either; he just had confidence in GOD to know God knew what He was doing. And look what God did!"

Chapter 8 starts out, "GOD REMEMBERED NOAH, and every living thing". That is not a bad way to make a difference, agreed?

The rainbow in chapter 9 was like an engagement ring promising the regenerate bride we would never have to face a "Flood of Destruction". Another not ungreat way to make a difference, Noah.

And most people thought he was shut away in a dark old boat while a tempest was going on all around him, and that oceanliner didn't even have controls but floated like a jellyfish.

CANTATA of PRAISE to GUISE of DISOBEDIENCE

"On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross/An emblem of suff'ring and shame/And I love that old Cross where the Dearest and Best for a world of lost sinners was slain./ So I'll cherish the old rugged cross/'till my trophies at last I lay down/ I will cling to the old rugged cross/ And exchange it some day for a crown."

I woke up this morning with that tune running thru' my mind. Actually, it was the Japanese lyrics of part of the song「十字架の悩みは我が罪のためなり。」

When the church today moves from hymns to contemporary music, claiming this only reflects the change of time, I beg to differ. The majority of songs today, with emotion-arousing chords and repeating sentiments, do not have the strength of hymn lyrics.  It's not mere modernization of music then but the church seems to lose spiritual depth too.

Let others sing these songs, but they felt like cardboard for me those 5 weeks in Taishokan when I needed "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" coming out of my earbuds (those aware of my situation know of my dire need). I still remember how much I liked "Shout to the Lord", but that song just did not do it for me at that time.

And these new songs - I know none of them make me feel like wings are sprouting on my back and make me fly, the way some of the old hymns do. They spell out reasons to sing, not merely state that I should. New ones don't tell me why God is Great or why we worship a Holy God, just state that He is and that we will. Also, they seem centered around how God has benefited me, speaks far less on what God has done showing Who He is.

This is the most embarrassing thing: the church changes hymns shamelessly. If anybody did this in the secular world, there'd be copyright problems instantly. But the church blatantly ignores God's mandate, "Thou shalt not steal" Sunday after Sunday, assuming a merciful God will allow this. And it's been mentioned before, but hard-necked Christians will not repent. The most common excuse is that individuals don't memorize hymns anymore so say we don't know when hymns are being changed so are guilty of nothing; we in the congregation wash our hands of the matter.

"Take away from me the noise of thy songs." (Amos 5:23) is the sentiment God expressed, not wanting melodious, solemn, or sacrificial form worship, actually disguises for disobedience.

Maybe we need to get back to memorizing why we should joy in God and then just do so. 

GOD & SIN, LOVE & JUSTICE

Here's part of today's journal entry:

I was thinking of the conversation I had with an ardent Buddhist friend who talked of her belief that the dieties left when displeased with the wickedness they saw on the earth. Isn't that kind of: "We'll protect you if you please us, but not if you scare us away?" But wait. How does that differ from the Bible God's way of looking at sin? Don't we say God hates sin too? Father, show me, I prayed.

I needed to remember I was trying to understand with my limited mind, in finite semantics, infinite spiritual matters.

God's Absolute Purity was the basis for which everything else was compared. The backdrop, so to speak, against which anything was placed. Sin was not merely something that was bad; it was an abomination; what happened when you put like ends of a magnet together.

BUT God was Absolute Love. Again here, man's semantics had no expression to do justice to this. He was Love in such a way DESPITE that Absolute Sin in the heart of man, He would wrap us with unilateral mercy that any who would repent of that sin could become His Adopted Heir and have nothing more to do with that absolute sin which repelled Him so; rather, take on the nature of the magnetic pole of the other end forever!

Now when it came to God's way of looking at evil, I saw two almost diametrically opposed teachings regarding this, and both were just as convincing to me.

1. I looked at some human parents with wayward children spending time with the wrong group: there were drugs, questionable illegal stuff going on, drinking, all the dress, lighting, music, hours, money, language, age, shouted out: BAD NEWS. Parents did all they could to discourage the children from going there. Time after time they talked to them, scolded, reprimanded, grounded, punished, did anything they could, until one day they decided the child would just have to learn on their own. They didn't even bail the child out of jail when there was a police raid as they'd done before. They pulled their hands out of their child's life because of the wickedness yes, but because they loved the child.
2. God promises He will never leave us nor forsake us. God's holiness must not be mocked, His patience tested. Altho' these concepts seem so opposed, God claims them simultaneously. We created beings should not demand to understand the mind of our Creator; merely submit to His demands. Cannot we believe the same God Who promises to be our Everlasting Father has Infinite Hatred for Sin? In fact, He allowed His Only Son to swallow His Wrath for us on the Cross! Some people think the love and justice of God are two separate, foreign, almost opposing truths. Actually, the latter proved the former!

HE DIDN'T TELL US TO WITNESS?

"I have prayed for thee that thy faith fail not;" Jesus assured Peter. What an encouragement those words must've been! "When thou art converted," the words following are pretty much forgotten: "go tell the lost of thy Savior's dying love"? NO! The Master's words were: "STRENGTHEN THY BRETHREN." (Lk.22:32)

Our FIRST responsibility should be towards the others of the flock. Sometimes I think we get things backwards. We're supposed to show such a strong bond in the family that it makes those outside marvel and want to know our God too. We're not supposed to be treating family members like slaves in order to reach the lost! Some Christians think the biggest reason God leaves people alive on this earth after salvation is to witness to the unsaved, so of course, such sacrifice is necessary! Effort and money is spent on fliers and posters for evangelistic meetings, but it seems meaningless to give time  pursuing other spiritual siblings' interests.

God wants to save souls and give us love, joy, and abundant life. Does it occur to those of us in the church that to be too busy evangelizing to give priority to strengthen our brethren is disobedience of Jesus' words--is SIN?

Yes, our Everlasting Father will continue blessing His children no matter what they do, knowing we truly want to please Him deep down. But we may need to take a step back and repent, realize that He is blessing while shaking His head and despite of  our omissions instead of because of pleasure with our actions.

One more thought--Christians do not simply decide to love one another. Individuals must open up their Bibles and see for themselves GOD and fall in love with Him. "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee," Job said  (42:5)  When that one Christian goes to a place of gathering and meets another soul who has also fallen in love with the God of the Bible in the same way, there will be an unquestionable knitting of hearts. Of course, this should happen repeatedly with the 3rd individual, the 4th, the 5th, and by the time the entire flock has been "knit together in love", the Church undaunted has a bond so strong, nothing can unravel the cords. Methinks today's church is weak because so much talk of love and unity centers on community of - love between - the faithful humans themselves. While unity of the faith is precious, we center on Christ; community should be just the result, not the aim.

DON'T WIPE THE TEARS AWAY TO BE STRONG

I see now David couldn't get fully angered with Abner or other ungodly subjects who turned their faces of impudence toward him or willfulness against the Most High; he had to envelope them with the same mercy he had been shown when he had thrown himself at God's Feet when he was forgiven and loved despite all that happened with Bathsheba.

No wonder scripture says he that does not forgive his brother is not born from on high; no one who has experienced death row and then been pardoned finds it hard to excuse someone for calling him a fatty!

Anyone who realizes he has escaped the relentless, eternal torment of sin would find it that difficult to release offense of temporal injustices, and whenever he does wrestle with it would only need to flee back to this reality to free his mind and soul of enslavement right to bitterness.

Also...I realized God doesn't want us to wipe the tears away to be strong in trying to display these spiritual truths! He wants us to acknowledge these truths yes, but there is a  difference, a very fine line, but a difference in what He wants us to do.

I think God the Father would rather we go to Him and say honestly, humbly, "These are my tears. This is how I feel. This is what You've said about it, and I know You can fix it. Would You?" And He will. He will take us up in His Arms, tell us He has been watching the whole time, is aware of the working of all hearts in the situation, and will make everything all right. He will tell us of His mighty love for us - how could we ever doubt it - and ask us to trust Him again.

Of course I will. And His faithfulness makes me, like Isaac, laugh.

CAPTIVE TO ONE THING

 "This One thing I do" Paul said in Phil. 3:13-14, referring to pressing for the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Earthly artists may speak of other mark-making. Secular psychologists speak of forgetting past traumas. While Paul was saying he will leave ALL behind, the good and the bad makes no difference, for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ!

Mary sat at Jesus' feet to listen to him talk to the other men visiting. In that day, adults, men especially, were given a place of prominence, but women and children were supposed to stay in the background, and as it is said in modern society, they were "seen but not heard." Here was Mary, a woman, SITTING plop at Jesus' the central speaker's feet! But then He said of her: "One thing is needful, and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Lk. 10:42) Wow. What would I give to have Jesus say something like that about me?!

There is another "One thing" I think about in the Bible. Ps. 27:4. People think often of Solomon's prayer for wisdom when God asked him what he desired and mention how he was pleased. Well, He was pleased He heard "wisdom" instead of "riches" or "power" or "fame", granted; but far, far greater, methinks, was God's pleasure when He heard David, Solomon's father, respond: "One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold, the beauty of the LORD, and the inquire in his temple." (Ps. 27:4)

To be perfectly fair to Solomon, this was not in response to God's request to David as to what he wanted. It's only a guess that if He had asked him, this is what he would have said, since this is what he had expressed separately. All his life, David was given, not the spectacular house, throne, temple, peaceful kingdom, fame, that his son knew; rather, he grew up as a shepherd boy battling bears, lions, giants, jealous siblings, a murderous king, instability in the home, conflict in the nation. But in it all, his "one love" never changed. 

Lord, make me a captive to that kind of love too, all my life.

HERE GOES NOTHING

It is Nov. 9, 2024. I have found, in Daddy's study, some e-mails from 2001-2003 that were lost in this blog. Altho' they would be read most enjoyably when surrounding circumstances could be known--and it is fairly impossible to ascertain all the details of what happened over twenty years ago--even having these posts without that background information is better than having nothing at all, so I decided to get this started again plus  add  present journaling  to it, so there will be a distinct break between the writing of a mother, in mainland Japan, with two young children and now me, in her 60's, back in Okinawa, but "here goes nothing," as they say.

Posts Before This One

This was the heading for all posts before Mar. 16, 2007:

Most of these come from emails I've written pretty casually so aren't very polished, so don't expect much...but I think they get the point across. Besides, this is supposed to be informal thoughts picked up in a friend's kitchen, not heavy philosophical learning gleaned from a scholar's lecture!

When Blogger wanted me to update my site, I didn't realize it would result in my not being able to post anymore from my old computer (affectionately called "my dinosaur"). So, I'm going to try posting from another computer...let's see if this works.

Uo-ta-Suraida-

That's "water slider" in katakana. On the next day, we went to an indoors pool, actually a room set aside for children waiting for their parents who enjoyed the various hot springs and baths of that resort. So the children's pool, altho' it's the type that flows around an island, is very small: no doubt, adults would find it TOO small. The drawing card for that pool is actually the slide. I think my kids used it twenty times! For it, you have to climb steps which, I found out later, lead to the top of the water slide which snakes OUTSIDE the building! It was free of charge too.

Sometimes, I wonder if we don't balk with God's sometimes-uneasy instructions, not realizing He wants us to turn our eyes from "small pool" comforts to "outside-the-building" unimaginable delights! And then some of us complain about the unexpected twists and turns encountered instead of learning to ENJOY them.

1. Unregenerate man can be satisfied with a comfortable life free of trials;
2. too many Christians think their aim is to attain strength to carry them through trials and overcome them; isn't it possible that God wants much more than that:
3. for us to learn to enjoy and revel IN them and what God can do THROUGH them?!?

An extra bonus: I have a back condition that can't take cold--even lukewarm--water so I hadn't let myself go in pools for three years; but because that pool was part of a larger hot springs complex, the water itself was very warm--I was able to go in! (Actually tho', I didn't really swim but stood in the pool while watching the kids shoot down that slide over and over again.)


Writer's comment: The above was written in 2003; my back is MUCH better now (2007), and I do participate in pool activities with my kids!

"Wrong Turn" to Children's Castle

My children and I went down to visit my sister in Saitama. The first day, we went to a "Children's Castle". When we first got off the train at Shibuya, we took a wrong turn and ended up walking around for awhile instead of going directly there. It was hot and sweaty, seemingly a mistake. And when we got to the "Castle", we went down to the basement gym only to find it wouldn't open for another 45 mins. or so, so we had to go back upstairs, altho' the children did enjoy the "rock climbing on the wall" before we went back. We went to a play center with slides and nets and tunnels, a room with computer games, another craft area where the kids worked over an hour on woodwork creation to their heart's content, etc.... When we went to the cafeteria later, we realized: that "wrong turn" and trip down to the basement had made us just late enough so that the bulk of the other mothers and children were gone for lunch when we wanted to play--the children didn't have to wait once in usually long lines--and they'd emptied the cafeteria when we got there, so we didn't have to wait one minute there either! And we got to hit the drums & play the bamboo instruments in the music room while coached by a staffer; go to the 10th floor to make personalized computer-designed placards--saw those waiting lists were often 45 mins.' long!!! Yup, even some of our "mistakes" are allowed for God's orchestration of all things to work together for our good!

"And we know that ALL things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Rom. 8:28)

Carried Away Dancing

The Sunday School lesson was about David's dancing & Michael's seeing and belittling him. David's focus wasn't on his own dignity as king which would've dictated tame decorum; he was totally lost in GOD'S greatness! How our worship would change if we were less concerned with how our spirituality was viewed, if we were intoxicated with God Himself!

The "Hard Job" (?)

This morning, another mother and I sat in this patrol car announcing the
"Aisatsu Drive" of an organization for the Safety & Well-being of Youth. I
remember last month thinking that we had been given the hard job while the
other non-officer mothers only stood on various corners and greeted
children on their way to school. HA! God knew it would rain at least 2 of
the 4 times we'd be doing this. While others stood outside in the rain,
having to smile and greet children while holding umbrellas, this mother & I
were comfy and dry in the car--no need to say I wouldn't have traded places
with any of them! God sends us blessings, even if we don't recognize them
as such when He gives them, even when we complain when they come!

Disobedient Sacrifice

While teaching Sunday School the other morning, it came like a slap in the
face that I was being like King Saul who didn't wait for Samuel but offered
sacrifice himself--sacrifice of animals that had been taken from the
Philistines although God had told him to destroy everything--perhaps all
because he wanted the people to give him high esteem as a dependable
spiritual leader. "June, maybe you think your teaching Sunday School and
being thought of as spiritual is good; but that isn't necessarily what I
want. I want your daily obedience even in mundane and insignificant
things. Anything else is 'as the sin of witchcraft'".

1 Samuel 15:22
So Samuel said:
　　　"Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
　　　 As in obeying the voice of the LORD?
　　　 Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
　　　 And to heed than the fat of rams."

Stains & Keys

I'd misplaced the house keys. I'd been praying they'd be found and had asked the Sunday School class assistant to pray with me too. Well, one day, I was distraught that my favorite slacks had gotten a little stained and couldn't be cleaned no matter how hard I scrubbed and cleaned. Grumbling my favorite pants had been ruined, I threw them in the laundry...but when the wash was done, they were completely clean! Thank You, God! And when I was changing into nightclothes later, I noticed something hard in the pocket of the rarely-worn pair of slacks--the KEYS!!! If my other pair hadn't been temporarily stained, I wouldn't have taken them off to wear this pair so wouldn't have found the keys! THANK YOU GOD! Right away, I emailed the news to the person I'd asked to pray with me. Often, God works inconveniences for our good, and we grumble about them!

No Matter How Unstable

In case you couldn't tell the past few mailings, I think I've started drowning in God's riches again; so much has been coming to me I can't keep up in writing it down! You know Junie: either at the top of the mountain or at the bottom of the ocean--sigh; an extreme creature, I am. But that's what I love about Rom. 8:28; it doesn't say "all things work out for them who love God" and leave it there, no sirree; all things are not dependent on how I HAPPEN TO BE! It goes on to say, "to them which are called according to His purpose". Rock-hard Foundation for such massive truth. All things: Dependent on the Infinite God Who called--YES! GOD works all things together for good, and my love for Him is merely the response, the evidence of, His working!

Extensions

Z2740087. That tourist visa, back in 1979-1980, I think, that year in Okinawa for thyroid problems, required frequent trips to the immigration office for renewal. Residence Permission was extended and extended and extended. "Extended" is a word I was reminded of recently.

The responsive reading for yesterday's worship service was Ps. 136, with all those "for His mercy endures forever"s. I could look back on Mother and see how God extended and extended and extended His mercy. I won't go back 19 years, which is the number of years her son's been saved, and the number of years she's had direct contact with the Gospel. When we were first married, I heard my husband witnessing to his mother over the phone, so I KNOW she's heard the Gospel many times. Even the past 2-3 years: God dowsed me with an awareness of His longing for her to be saved and escape eternal damnation as well as a desire to know the fulness of His Love--this was in 2001, to such a degree, I couldn't help but share with her, over and over, from the Word, the plan of salvation, even left a larger-print Bible at her home so we could refer to it when we talked (mine is fine-print). I thought we had real good talks plus had a better relationship! Then in 2002, she put a stop to those talks saying she didn't want to talk religion anymore and even returned the Bible/tracts I'd given her, saying she wouldn't be needing them. But it didn't matter to God that she'd rejected Him; He kept extending His mercy. She had that stroke at the end of 2004, but God said "Not yet" and preserved her life. She got better, it seemed, and that second stroke came the following year. But God said "Not yet" and preserved her life again, extending her chance to accept Him! He keeps extending and extending, Oh that one day she would turn her heart and ACCEPT His Love! But we know that man's heart is so sinful and dead, only God's working in it can implant a desire for God much less any understanding of what He says...oh how we pray that He would be merciful to her to continue to work in her heart too!

I know this letter is getting long, but can I share just one more blessing? Church yesterday. God had all sorts of goodies in it for me. Just one. At the end of the yearly business meeting, when a review was being made of the salvation decisions made last year, I realized three of them were PARENTS OF CHURCH MEMBERS, TWO OF THEM HOSPITALIZED AND UNABLE TO SPEAK, LIKE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW! God seemed to be sending me extra hope and encouragement--He is so Kind!

"Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?" (Rom. 2:4, NKJV)


note:
I just found this. Mother finally DID accept Christ. She was saved in June of 2006, and the Lord called her Home a few months later.

About Semantics

SEMANTICS. Remember how "Desiring God" was started off with discussion of prepositions? There can be SO MANY MISUNDERSTANDINGS caused by prepositions! And EMPHASES; DOUBLE NEGATIVES; use of negatives in different languages; statements mistaken for questions and vice versa; sentences interrupted in mid-stride thus incomplete; SO MUCH can go wrong in verbal communication! God did a thorough job at the Tower of Babel. It's often taught as confusion BETWEEN languages; sometimes now I wonder if there wasn't confusion WITHIN languages too, formed when God confounded the languages. (Gen. 11:1-8)

A creative writing teacher used to say it was the writer's responsibility, not to write clearly to be understood, but to write clearly so as not to be misunderstood. Methinks I'm coming to the place where I see that as well nigh impossible. I mean, you'd have to read the entire chapter to know what the author really meant to say in one subpoint, the entire book to know what he was saying; several books to know where he's coming from;...and in the long run, you'd have to know what kind of person the author was to NOT MISUNDERSTAND him.

I think there's a thought in the forming: It is the WRITER'S RESPONSIBILITY, not to write so as not to be misunderstood, but to work in readers' lives so that understandings turn on lights (Eph. 1:18) and even misunderstandings end up working for good (Rom. 8:28). And only Sovereign GOD is that kind of Author. The human writer should know that no matter how clearly he writes--altho' it IS his responsibility to write so clearly it will be difficult to be misunderstood, so long as he's treating things of God, there WILL be misunderstanding. But it won't ever be a misunderstanding God won't be able to handle!

(I'm not putting myself in the same category here, as much of my writing is things off the top of my head, not worked with. So if I were to author a book or something, I'd do much more work on making myself clear than I do with these emails!)

Another thought just hit me: If there were something I REALLY DIDN'T WANT the reader to get a clear grasp of, I would be vague intentionally! Aren't there specifics God DOESN'T want us to get--and He would withhold no good thing from us (Ps. 84:11)--thus doesn't spell out clearly in the Bible? Why should we argue about who the 13th apostle was or who the author of Hebrews was, eschatology, what day of the week Christ was crucified, etc..., when we can be busy enjoying God (I Tim.6:17)?

Columbia Catastrophe Stuff

The below referred to the Columbia Space Shuttle accident, but I think the same truths can apply to other "tragedies" too, like the 9-11 attacks, Tsunami/Hurricane disasters, etc....


2003.2.6, JuneTSaito wrote:
>And the only time man really looks Heavenward is to blame God for calamities like space shuttle Columbia (the more I think about it, the more I realize these incidents, referred to as "tragedies", are probably God's action of Protection; but that's subject for another letter.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The end of my last letter to you hinted on the thought that what humans refer to as calamities may actually be actions of God's mercy and protection. I'd like to "expound" here...maybe "expunge" would be what you might want to do with it after you've heard it. Whatever. Here goes....

Remember Jim Berg's seminar, in which he spoke from Rom. 1, about man's heart being so toxic that, if left to itself, it would only DESTROY, and how God's greatest JUDGMENT was to let man have his own way, how in Rom. 1, God's judgment was NOT raining fire from Heaven but TURNING MAN OVER TO HIS OWN HEART? And in that video of the Silver Chalice you brought along this past Christmas vacation--the villain didn't go flying around that tower and be shot down with a bolt of lightning or something, like I'd rather imagined would happen; it didn't even take a little birdie pecking at him or anything; the foolish man actually believed himself to be God and JUMPED to his own death--not even a little push from God was needed! "Go ahead. Have it your way. I won't stop you."--if God really were to say that to man, mankind would be in real trouble; we'd keep jumping to our own death! Some may say not all people are that foolish; well, the "less foolish" of us follow our leaders, and the human heart, when given free rein, seems to run to power, haughtiness, self-sufficiency, and eventually, inevitably, ruin. The majority of mankind would take the lead from those "reining", so....

We discovered solar energy and learned how to heat our homes and water, but also how to power missiles. Laser technology gave us modern surgical techniques, granted, but also new means to sight, aim, fire.... Chemicals, electricity, telephone, automobile, audio recording, radar & sonar, TV, satellite, radioactivity, night vision, computer, nuclear energy...man HAS made leaps and bounds, but with every bound, there's been increased potential for destruction too. Maybe there is increased knowledge about medicine, fertilizer, hygiene, but there's also chemical warfare. A lot of convenience has been afforded by modern sources of power, phones, autos, recording, etc..., but tell me if there's one that hasn't been developed MUCH for use in killing too. "It's only natural," because that's the way man's heart is by nature! "If the other guy has more potent destructive force, well, I've got to protect myself" True, but that's just because we're still on earth where sin reins. Call it reasoning in circles. That'll all be gone in Heaven. There'll be perpetual "healing of the nations" there!

With new knowledge of genetics, man claims to have "cloned" human beings. Advances in space travel is shifting its focus from the moon to planets, actual transportation in space, unknown frontiers. Already there are people working on making this new technology work to advantage in weapons and warfare. Who KNOWS what kind of consequences would result if man were left unchecked? This is an exaggeration:

"The enemy nation thinks they can wipe us out because now they have the technology to get through our forcefields; well, we'll beam our country's leaders to genetic capsules and revive them after the smoke clears, andsurprise, surpise, the enemy will see they haven't managed even ONE strategic casualty--and they won't be able to do anything NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY TRY because attacks will automatically initiate escape procedures. And they won't be able to destroy our ability to regenerate because the the capsules will be operated from the base we have on a top-secret planet which will activate the regeneration-reconstruction sequence of the nation's geological-biological-architectural form to its former state...for us, "war" is no longer synonymous with "destruction"; we are indestructible, immortal, truly independent entities!"

Just an imaginary scenario, but just to say man's "advances" seem to be bent to "ways of greater efficiency in destruction". Star Trek (TNG, I think) says man will evolve out of its violent ways to become a better man, but I can't see how that can possibly be anywhere near scientific in seeing the direction man has taken all history. If man were getting less destructive with greater development, I can kinda see how that might be a possibility for the future, but.... The "existence of evil in a world of good intentions" only says to me how sinful man has been implanted with a knowledge of potential for good...and technological attainment hasn't seemed to fill that void--the Bible says only God can fill it, and I think the history of mankind has more than supported that claim.

God's "Stop; you're going to hurt yourself." is probably only one aspect of things like what happened to the Columbia. I'd call that an act of God, but an act of MERCY, not JUDGMENT by any means! Wouldn't "judgment" be more like the way man is allowed to run to homosexuality, violence, materialism--and do it comfortably? When God decides to "step out of our way", we naturally end up going the way of AIDS, bitterness, confusion, crippling, murder, loneliness, distrust, shallow love, weakened capacity to really enjoy...and as long as people are at ease, no one looks up at God "blaming" Him for the destruction He's allowing us to wreak in our own lives.

"Don't you see what you're doing to yourselves? Stop! Look up here and listen to what I have to offer!" God sometimes steps in with things like the Los Angeles earthquake, Columbine High, 9-11.... Is that not an act of LOVE? And most Christians say things like: God didn't cause the evil; He just ALLOWED it for a greater good, and we need to trust His purpose. As if to say the incident was blameworthy, that God needs to be defended, and in the process, the Christian individual is praised for his unshakable faith!

Someone is walking into the street, Provi sees a car approaching; He dives at the person and knocks him back over to the side of the road so the car goes speeding by without hitting the person. But when he gets up, he says to Provi, "That HURT! Why'd you slam into me like that?" And Chris, standing nearby, says spiritually, "He didn't CAUSE the hurt; He just ALLOWED it for a greater good. We can't understand it, but we must be strong and believe in Him!" Wait a minute. Why does Provi's "pain-inflicting action" have to be justified, excused? Shouldn't that man be THANKING him for saving his life?

I'm not sure about sending this letter. Much of it sounds very much like what I can't endorse: using human reasoning to validate claims of truth in scripture rather than letting God tell me how things are and aligning myself to those declarations. Well, let me interject: this letter gives some of the thoughts that came AS A RESULT of first admitting the Sovereignty and Goodness of God; they weren't the REASON I believed, ok? I remember hearing once that we finite human beings can't read the Bible and tell God what the right way to run the universe is.

The Bible talks about beholding the goodness AND severity of God. But it also says it's the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. It's when we bow the head to God and say, okay, I don't understand but WILL accept what You say as true that He lets us see truth and see how good it really is. We don't say I'll accept IF I UNDERSTAND AND APPROVE. We say I'll accept AND THEN YOU MAY LET ME UNDERSTAND AND APPROVE.

June, shut up. Satan is having a good time letting me spend bogs of time writing about abstract concepts--he knows one of my biggest weak points is my analytical bent, and I give him too much free playtime in my mind! I'm going to send this now and ask God to let it get lost in cyberspace or something if He doesn't want it sent...or,...God may allow all my letters to get through and let you hear all sorts of Junie's errors to drive home the truth that only God is truly reliable!

Being Out of Control

1) Tubing Down the Rapids

Several of the things I was going to relate had to do with being out of control. "Tubing Down the Rapids" was a youth activity the summer after my freshman year in college. I wrote my Mom about it. It wasn't really "rapids", just a rough creek in the woods, actually shallow enough to wade in. A raft for the rapids would've looked out of place there, I think. "Rapids" just sounded more exciting, I guess, for whoever gave the title to the youth group activity. And we didn't shoot the whitewater in a raft or canoe, wearing lifejackets & helmets; rather, we sat in inner tubes from large truck tires. We let the water take us downstream, and we kicked away from boulders along the way. Actually, I kinda remember I preferred deeper water, because shallow water HURT if my bottom hit the bottom of the creek! We had barbecued hot dogs at the end of the activity. I guess when my Mom read the description in my letter to her, it sounded MUCH more threatening than it really was, because she forbad me from ever doing that again! (I haven't heard of any youth groups going tubing down rapids since then, have you?) Well, since then, I decided I'd make sure make sure whoever's in charge of excursions knows about my epilepsy--I think I did then too but can't concretely remember.

You are so right. Being "out of control" is what made that activity fun! Being sloshed around, bounced from place to place and turning around this way and that way to the whim of the water was great! I remember lots of "Whee"s and "Whoop"s and "Wow"s, lots of squeals and shouts...but there were never grimaces of endurance!


2) Wave-Riding on the Outrigger

The other incident was on my younger sister's birthday in '74, I think. We were in Hawaii on the way to furlough in the U.S., supposed to leave the next day, so all our things were packed. We were going to enjoy a leisurely day at home...when one of our aunts came over and asked my Mom if she could take "the girls" out. My Mom told her no swimming because all our clothes had been packed, and only what we needed for our plane trip the next day was out. My Aunt said ok, she was going to take us to the Waikiki Area, but not to swim. She knew about my epilepsy too--several other cousins in Hawaii also have it.

Well, she took us to Waikiki, but to do something we'd not be able to do at other beaches: go for an outrigger ride. You know those Hawaiian canoes, with the beam alongside for balance--when you paid for a ride, they let you lock up your bracelet, pendant, glasses, wallet,etc..., valuables, so they won't get ruined by the saltwater of the ride. And we were told to take off our zoris (you know, those rubber slippers) & throw them into the bottom of the canoe. Before getting on, my older sister asked my aunt if she should take off her watch.

"Oh no, you won't get that wet." So she took off her zoris and tossed them into the canoe before getting in herself.

The canoe was large. My sisters, myself, my aunt and her daughter, plus 6 beach boys on the outrigger staff all got in. One of them, the leader, called out when to paddle, when to change sides, when to lift the paddles out of the water, etc....

We went out to the waves where the surfers were, turned the canoe around to face the shore. When a big wave came, the leader--he sat facing the waves, tho' we could only see the front--would call out for us to start paddling, and we'd manuever the outrigger to glide in FRONT OF the wave. He'd shout out to stop paddling and lift the paddles into the canoe; and we'd actually RIDE the WAVE like those surfers do, with the wind & spray in our faces--talk about exhilarating! We did that a few times, and went out for one last ride. I LOVE outrigger rides, mostly because you get to ride the waves like the surfers do--but don't have to worry about the wet spill at the end.

So I thought.

We decided to choose a really big wave for our last one and let some other smaller ones go by. When we saw the one we wanted, we poised ourselves and paddled like crazy at the leader's signal. But he kept yelling, "Faster! Faster!" and then, "It's gonna break!"

Sploooooosh! When I opened my eyes, the outrigger was floating IN water, and our zoris were floating by us, the water up to our waists! The timing had been just fractions off, putting our canoe right UNDER the breaking wave instead of to the side & FRONT of it! We were told to get out of the canoe, hold onto the side poles, while the water was bailed out. 2 of them did that, while another made sure it didn't tip over--outriggers don't SINK, but they CAN flip over (our getting out & hanging onto the side beams added weight to make that practically impossible, tho'). 2 others swam around where we were, making sure we were all right.

It didn't occur to me until MUCH LATER that my aunt didn't go out to the spot where my older sister was (she didn't even know how to swim) or where my younger sister was (being the youngest of us three, she would've easily been the most easily frightened) but over to ME. She held onto the pole with her right arm and supported me and her daughter Lisa between us with her left.

Several surfers started jeering, telling the leader he had mistimed the ride, needling him by saying the customers had the right to sue the beach, etc... And my aunt began worrying about the possibility of a wave stealing one of the surfboards, twirling it up into the air and letting it come down on our heads. Well, the water got bailed, we all got back into the canoe, paddled back to shore, no one was hurt, and we'd had a great time...as a matter of fact, I kinda remember being out on that pole and going WHOOOAAAHHH whenever a wave came...my cousin Lisa and I giggled with every swell. I think God gave us that extra bit of fun.

Back on the beach, we realized ONE zori had been lost, and of course, my sister's watch...well, she held it up to show my aunt its now-drenched condition, giggling, "Oh no, you won't get THAT wet."

Several things:
1. When out on that pole waiting for the water to be bailed out, my younger sister says she found herself quoting, "I have offered thee death and life; therefore choose life". I don't think that's a birthday she'll ever forget!

2. When we were going home, we were trying to think up ways to tell our Mom what happened without telling her what happened--do you know what I'm saying here? We weren't supposed to go swimming and get wet, but we were DRENCHED! Our cousin piped up, "Tell her we sweat a lot." (!)

3. This hit me much later: My aunt worried about ME because she knew about my epilepsy. She'd told my Mom that she would look after me. No doubt, when we had that "accident", one of her first thoughts was that she HAD to make sure nothing happened to me! My sisters, well, she let the other outrigger staff look after them; June she couldn't take her eyes off. And of course, her daughter. So she stayed with US.

If I didn't have epilepsy, she might've worried about her daughter, but she probably would've let the outrigger people look after me too! Things that may seem like negatives to us may be God's way of guaranteeing us added protection!

"For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men." (Lam. 3:33)

He doesn't do ANYthing for nothing!

(If you WANT to look, also Prov. 10:22, Ps. 84:11b, Jas. 1:17 came to mind.)

Yup, being "out of control" often affords us more thrill and more protection in it!

Treasures for the "Unlearned"

Some teach a person needs formal education and say there will always be danger of Christians who haven't been to seminary going off on tangents and doctrinal error, getting off-balanced, etc.... (At least "that kind of person" KNOWS he hasn't been officially schooled so will be more receptive to correction.) I think it was Mommy who said the danger lay in the exact opposite direction, in pride of academic learning. And she'd been to seminary so knew what she was talking about.

Actually, I get afraid for laymen and people who've not been to Bible School when there's mention of the use of concordances and lexicons and Greek and Hebrew origins and Hebrew History and developments of various translations, etc...; almost sounds like "You can't enjoy Christianity to the fullest unless you have head knowledge!" What about people who can't read or write? Can God not give them insights more profound than He gives those with more education? Jesus' birth was announced to shepherds, after all!

* * * *

[I was just reading what I wrote and will negate the above paragraph. Perhaps excitement in talking about cross references, searching scripture, etc..., is something God can actually use to convey to others the fact that Bible Learning can really be fun--something God can make so interesting to a person that he actually loses himself in it!]

When I Look Up, It's Pretty

I looked up and saw the snowflakes...so pretty! How can something so
beautiful get ugly, I said to myself. But I pictured the snow melting, cars
and boots sloshing around in the grayish mush, people complaining about
shoveling.... That's what I often do. God gives beautiful blessings, and
what do I do with it? turn it into a destructive idol and source of misery!
If only I'd keep looking UP.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from
the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of
turning." (Jas. 1:17)

Not What I Really Want

A lot of Christians talk about how there's so much garbage on TV so we SHOULDN'T watch it and should discipline ourselves not to fill our minds with trash. True--kinda.

The opposite is also true, Christians have perfect liberty to do anything they want--but I think most Christians have been fooled into what that really is. Deep down inside, we "really want" the Lord, and nothing else can really satisfy, but we're fed all sorts of lies as to how sin is really more enjoyable thus must be denied if we're to be moral, how we MUST walk uprightly altho' it may not be as much fun...and WE BELIEVE THIS STUFF! My Mother used to say that deep down inside every Christian was the desire for God, not the desire to sin; I didn't really know what she meant then; now I think I do. When the Bible talks about Christian LIBERTY, it's not even giving thought to "free to sin" ("I don't have to obey the law anymore")--altho' it's true--but I think it's saying we are "free to REALLY enjoy now and don't have to sin" ("I GET TO ENJOY A LOVE-RELATIONSHIP with HIM!")

Sure, I'm "free" to feel frustration, anger, depression at seeing evil win most of the time as happens most of the time in Dallas and 50 mins of other suspense-type programs often resolved in the last 10 mins of the program; sure, I'm "free" to feel the sadness of hearing vain aspirations of the unregenerate--wanting to be rich, wanting to be talented, wanting to be popular, etc...; sure, I'm "free" to sense the deceit of lives claiming courage, integrity, selflessness, large-heartedness, goodness, purity, APART FROM GOD (this happens in MOST "good" programs portraying "Christian" characteristics)... And, in the process, I'm "free" to feel irritation at interruptive clamoring for my attention from family ("Mommy! Look!" Not again...), house (I HAVE to clean now? Wait until this scene is over), responsibilities (I can do that LATER; this is more interesting). But do I really WANT frustration, temporal values, self-righteousness, things that make reality look interruptive?

Nah. Not really.

Rom. 8:32

Many see Rom. 8:28 (this was in the book) and don't go onto verse 32 (no, this wasn't in the book; just came out while I was teaching). About the ROCK-HARD GUARANTEE that all things MUST work together for good! Jesus' suffering: It wasn't just his earthly mother, His Heavenly Father had to watch all that too. And no doubt, He really wanted to spare His Son all that pain! BUT HE WASN'T SPARED ONE DROP OF AGONY--HE FELT IT ALL--THAT WE MIGHT HAVE PERFECT RECONCILIATION WITH GOD, THAT WE MIGHT HAVE ALL BLESSING.

When I pay for something at the store, I don't leave the item at the counter; I take it home with me! It's mine! God paid for everything good for us with that awful death on the CROSS; there is no way He would NOT claim it for us; it's already been paid for! Circumstances, on the outside, may LOOK undesirable, but we KNOW that it has to be good, because God paid for it! with Calvary!

Kuwagata Koncerns

We're still keeping a pet kuwagata beetle. It has one really funny habit. It sticks its head (I was about to say "snout", but insects don't have those, do they?) down into the gel-like food then feels too lazy to move so sometimes goes to sleep in that position. At first, my children and I panicked. "He's getting too old and weak to pull himself out; he'll suffocate to death like that!" Until a neighborhood playmate came and laughed, commented it was just like this other pet kuwagata beetle she saw who seemed content to go to sleep like that. Sure 'nuff, when left alone, the critter woke up and went his merry way as if nothing had happened. All that worry and hullabaloo for nothing.

Why do we worry? Because it's so much fun to make all that hullabaloo? Can't change one hair black or white!

I just looked over at the beetle. It had fallen over onto its back and was flailing its six appendages in the air. Serves it right, for trying to climb up the plastic wall to get out of the cage. No, I ain't going to worry and try to help; I'll let him right himself; he always does. (I should be saying "she" since it's female!)

(If you really want the parallel the Lord just "zinged" home to me, read. If not, skip this paragraph. When we try, in our own reason and by our own efforts, to "get out of" uncomfortable situations, we only make matters worse. We really should leave that up to God.)

Scares in 1997, 1998, 1969

When my son was 2, he jumped out into the street & was met by a blaring noise. The loud honk scared him back to the side of the road & had him crying; I'm not sure it registered that he almost got hit. I gave him a scolding, then we thanked the Lord right there for protecting him.

The next year, when my daughter was in 1st grade, she had an encounter with an attacker in an underpass on the way home from school. The afternoon-evening was taken up talking with other mothers, school personnel, police, and four phone calls to my husband at his workplace. She wasn't hurt at all--she kicked, hit, scratched, and finally bit him until he let her go (from what I can gather, the entire thing lasted only a few seconds). And she's perfectly fine now. The best part is that she gives God credit for protecting her and enabling her to fight back.

The next day, my husband picked up something at the store for Emily: an alarm-emitting accessory. The place where the incident took place though, has a parking lot on one side and a park on the other. I don't think there will be anyone near enough to hear any noise. A heart cry of, "Help, God" would be more sure of being heard.

When I was in the 5th grade, I almost touched the car I almost got hit by. I wrote about it in one of my first prayer letters. I contemplated asking the mission Home Office if they still had it on record, but that was a long time ago; so instead, here's a concise version of what happened then:

I'd seen a visiting missionary on the other side of the street & began to dash across when he waved. I was running full speed when I saw a car coming at me. The laws of inertia say this can't happen, but I not only stopped; I found myself jumping BACK. I felt the vehicle slap my dress as it whizzed by. The missionary had seen me head his way then seen an auto blur; he'd heard a slight thump then heard screeching brakes. Needless to say, he was sure I'd been run over. It took awhile for him to realize it was me, standing half-frozen but still alive, in the middle of the road.

We bowed our heads by the side of the street, & the missionary prayed, "We know You have a definite purpose & plan for June's life, & until that purpose is fulfilled, You'll protect her, as You did today. Thank you."

So whether it's me or my children, I know God has a special plan for our lives. Nothing in the Christian's life slips by God's attention; everything is for a purpose. And it's HIS RESPONSIBILITY to direct; the human part is only to "trust and obey".